How Spelunking and Friends Do Not Mix

Sam Carignan Comic Spirit

           

One day while camping, I and two of my friends decided to go on a camping trip in Vermont, so we packed up our gear and drove up to a secluded area that I knew of.  Once there, we set up our tents and quickly fell asleep.  That following morning, we started on the long hike up through the mountains not expecting to see much but just to hike for the sake of having fun.  Although, near the end of the day, we did see an interesting cave system.  The opening was deep but the rest of it seemed easy enough to climb, or spelunk, in.  Being the most adventures of us, I was the only one to go into the cave.  Thus, I quickly tied a knot to myself and a rock in the opening and climbed down into the abyss.  As soon as I hit the bottom I took out my flashlight and yelled to my friends to set up camp and watch the rope.  If I pulled on the rope twice that would mean I’m in trouble and they should come running.  So off I went, into the dark unknown with a whole new world to be discovered and claimed for by the first Eagle Scout to be there.  After almost an hour of searching, I heard a light flutter sound to my right and as I turned suddenly a bat screeched at me and knocked me backwards, breaking the glass on my flashlight.  Luckily, the light itself still worked so I decided to work my way back to the opening of the cave system.  Up barely above my head I once again suddenly saw another animal, but this was no bat, this was a COYOTE!  I screamed and jumped backwards, dropping my flashlight, taking out my pocketknife and slashing in the dark all within a few seconds of each other.  As I had expected, it was now incredibly dark and I was waiting for the heavenly light.  But there was no light, so I concluded that I was still very much alive and lighted a match.  In fact I did see a coyote, but it was merely a skeleton.  Imagine my frustration and utter humiliation.  At this time I figured I was in trouble so I pulled on the rope twice, but instead of feeling the tightening of the rope, it stayed loose.  So, I did what anybody would do, keep lighting matched until I made my way back to the entrance.  Upon my arrival I noticed that it was night time and the rope had untied from the top of the cave.  I was now entirely stuck so I decided to wait for my friends and set up a little shelter and slept the whole night.

           

The next morning I awoke to still no friends who I expected to come to the rescue.  So I performed a risky maneuver, tie a rock to the rope and throw it until it became stuck on an object and pray that it will support my weight.  After a few throws I got the rock to stick and barely scrambled out of the cave.  A few meters a way I saw smoke and smelled food so I ran over expecting to see my two friends wondering what to do about me.  Instead I saw them eating bacon, eggs and drinking all of MY coffee!  The first things to come out of their mouths, besides bits of bacon and eggs, was “Where have you been, we have been waiting for you since last night?